Wednesday, January 20, 2010

Dear Flabby


Some of you may be wondering why I post so often. I know myself really well; and if I let the ball drop even for two days, the ball will come crashing down on my head--and these regular entries are keeping me motivated. Consider it like a daily column in a newspaper, I could never be Dear Abby, so you may call it Dear Flabby, and please if you have any questions I would feel honored if you addressed me as such. I must confess to something, I have sinned a great sin. I was feeling blue and I turned to a couple of old friends who make me feel better in the short term, but they have a terrible, terrible influence on me. Their names are Carrot Cake and Fried Chicken. I'm not just talking about a sliver of carrot cake, no, this was a 6x6 inch slice four inches thick slathered in 2 cm of devilish cream cheese frosting. And the walnuts, OH the walnuts, they were scattered perfectly in each bite to add just the right amount of crunch to the moist, billowy cake sponge. Drooling yet? What's even worse, after eating the whole darn thing, I woke up the next morning and said to myself "I have already eaten an entire piece, what's another one?" (Another one? Like 700 more calories, THAT'S another one!) So I ate half of the second and decided to throw it away. Now there is an art to throwing treats in the garbage: you must make sure the treat is sandwiched between oozing egg shells and rotting lettuce (or some other nasty combination) so that you are forced to LEAVE it there and not dig it from the trash--right now you're saying to yourself "I've never done that, that's disgusting," You. Are. A. Liar! I left her in the trash and decided that we could not be friends again, at least not in that quantity and not for a long time. After eating fried chicken and carrot cake two days in a row, I finally made a breakthrough: it does not feel good anymore. Such is sin, it provides a fleeting moment of content, and then the consequences crash down; my consequence being a heavy, nasty, bile-ridden stomach screaming "How could you do this to me, after all we've been through?" And then running after eating something like that? Talk about true anguish! This is a real change from my attitude in an earlier entry about fast food, read it and you will see. So I have come clean and committed to better food choices. "Dear Flabby, why do you eat bad food when you are working so hard with the exercise?" Well, I am still trying to figure that out, but in the mean time I gotta keep on at it.

9 comments:

  1. Ha! The carrot cake looks REALLY good! Good idea with the trash! I Really need to throw out our Lindor truffles!

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  2. i totally do the same thing with food. I LOVE to bake, but hate to eat the treats cause of the way i feel... so i only let myself bake when I have guests coming or something and then i will send all the leftovers home with the guests or throw away the food. i know it sounds so awful to waste food like that, but it is better than me gorging on food and feeling like crap for days and days

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  3. ps... i have a healthy living blog that has TONS of healthy lower calorie recipes that help curb cravings for sweets and other naughty foods. check it out for some ideas...

    www.healthylivingbycami.blogspot.com

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  4. Mmm... that does look good. Dear Flabby...Why do we have to have such a love/hate relationship with food? and why do things that are not good for you taste so good? Why is it so easy for me to forget the instant stomach ache that comes after eating a krispy kreme doughnut?

    I have heard before that it is just as wasteful to eat lots of treats and extra calories as it is to throw them away. Both ways it is waste - but one way comes with greater consequences.

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  5. I dont expect you to answer any of that - those were just the random thoughts that went through my head while I read this post.

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  6. I thought you looked a little meloncoly today! I'm sorry about that darn carrot cake! Who needs her anyway?

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  7. Aww, I love this post, you are so clever with the "Dear Flabby" thing.

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  8. Dear Flabby,
    We are staying at an all-inclusive, all you can eat resort. The food is kind of gross actually, but I can't stop. I even eat my kids SCRAPS, yes, cold fries, ends of hot dogs, a few sips of a pina colada.
    HELP ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
    Ok, diet starts... never

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