Sunday, January 17, 2010
A shout out, on a serious note
For a long time I didn't feel like doing anything. Sitting on the couch all day, or lying in bed seemed like reasonable options. Forget about the hair, it could be greasy for days, and the clothes--what clothes? I really should say pajamas. It didn't matter if a shirt was stained; make-shift shorts from a tattered pair of pink Old Navy pajamas were not out of the question. I think the way I dressed myself and even treated my body by eating garbage reflected how I felt inside. Call it the blues, post-partum, laziness, or whatever, but it was a reality for me, and now here I am overweight and turning things around. At some point I snapped out of it and thought, "Is this how I want my daughter to see me?" or "Is this the way I would want her to treat herself in the future?" And from this perspective I began to see my own worth. I wanted to give a shout out to someone who helped me probably more than she could ever imagine during this difficult time. She called me almost every week even when I didn't have anything to say, or didn't want to talk to anyone. She called me even when I didn't call her back, and during a low she got me probably the most thoughtful birthday present I have ever received. When I felt like no one else really cared, she was on the phone just to say "hi." I have felt so indebted and she will probably be surprised, but I have wanted to thank her for a long time, but every time I have tried to say it, I get a lump in my throat and want to cry. So here it goes: thanks Cathy, my big sister, for sticking with me when I wasn't fun to stick with. Cathy is one of the most down-to-earth, talented, kind people I know. Also she is very smart. She just started a webpage all about internet and computer security for moms: securemama.com. Take a look and write a comment, she deserves all the support in the world, and here is my little piece.