A flying flatus

I stepped outside to bright rainbow sherbet clouds smeared over a Caribbean-blue sky. A perfect beginning to another long run--I did my 5K again this morning, and it was easier, and faster. I found that if I keep my eyes looking forward it is much easier to keep going and reach my goal, I know, I know another cliché' life-lesson from running. But really, I used to stare about three feet ahead of me on the ground when I ran. "Oh no, look there is a bumpy patch, what am I going to do, slow down? Hop over it?" So now I hold my head high and say, "Road, I don't like you, and you don't like me--with all your pot-holes and trickery--but we are going to do this, and I am gonna keep my chin up, and eventually my saggy butt, and attack your joint-busting surface day after day." Another great thing about exercising out-doors is the freedom to let my body relax. You see, as I have changed my exercise and eating habits I have become a very gassy girl. Don't you tell me I am being gross because no matter how proper you think you are, at the end of the day we all must drop our pants and do a #2, whew, anyway. At the Gym when I am swiveling on the elliptical, it is like a gas factory pumping the bubbles in my gut at a perfect rhythm ready to be released. But I have head phones on, and there are people next to me. I won't know if it is silent, but if it is silent, won't it be deadly? So I squeeze them in--which I guess ads to the exercise--workin' my glutes. Oh but the great outdoors receive my flatulence with such grace, whisping them away like an afterthought in the churning of the wind, like sound, and smell don't exist, all is free. I do have to be careful, however, about what I eat the night before; we don't want things to get out of hand, and on my underwear, ewww, I know. Just keeping it real. But hey, if it means I am going to lose weight, I will toot-toot-toot all the way home.