Thursday, January 21, 2010

Peddle-boat sceanery

The gravel track was closed two days in a row due to heavy rain here in SoCal, so I had to suck in my pride (and gut) to show my face at the gym (membership is free for students and spouses, so that's nice). I took my chances on the elliptical, and it felt so foreign, Like I was pedaling in one of those swan-shaped boats and shifting the gears of a three-story farmer's tracker all at the same time. I couldn't wear my hoodie, way too hot, so I tried the best I could to cover-up my circus-sized bazoombaz, but it is difficult when my size surpasses the letters on the musical scale. I tried to stay focused and enjoy the tunes, but the weirdoes lurking! A twenty-something man with a shaggy dark beard/go-t/soul-patch thing decided to hop on the elliptical right next to me, when there were at least three others empty. I tried to keep a steady pace and just plug away, but I kid you not, this man was trying to race me. He would go in slow motion, and then cruise into a full-on sprint, all the while looking over at me, and the stats on my machine. Then he would do it again, and again. The circa-1980 jazzercise band around his head should have been a dead giveaway that this guy was weird. Banded heads: a sure sign of a Creepy Gym-going Jim. He was off within ten minutes, relief. The scenery wasn't great either. The elliptical machines faced the huge glace windows looking right into the weight room. I had full view of the "Grunters" picking up ridiculously large circles of weight to lift about twice with an "I'm-so-manly" grunt and red-puckered face. I did my best to focus on my workout until I saw something so bizarre I couldn't help myself. A 50-something white man in a full gray sweat get-up, HIKING boots, black leather gloves, and the cherry on top: a bright purple du-rag on his head. But hey, good for him going into that scary sweat-hole with those narcissistic meat heads watching themselves in the mirror; I for one do not have the guts to enter the weight room, yet.

6 comments:

  1. Ha! I agree about the eliptical! It feels so weird. Gym etiqutte is weird. I've only belonged to one gym. No matter what, the weights are always intimidating. HA! Good for people watching!

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  2. Bina, first of all I HATE GYMS. In my life I have spent a total of $780 on gym memberships, and I think I went less than 10 times. For me, the best part about exercise is being outside. I think thats why I've liked warm climates so much - you can be outside all year and not loose your nose or ears to frost bite.
    Becca and I have a joke about ellipticals - you only see fat people on them. As far as running, you never see fat people running. So, as you keep running you will continue to melt away. It's not the case w/ the elliptical. I swear the calories burned on that thing are fake.
    maybe not.

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  3. i for one LOVE ellipticals, just not the ones at the gym. I swear they are self propelled somewhat. i never feel like i have a good workout on them. I bought one for $500 and LOVE it. It is NOT self propelled at all and it makes me sweat like CRAZY while i am on it-- but i do agree that running is the best workout, just not so great on the knees. mine are suffering big time because of all my running but my waistline thanks me (somewhat)

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  4. "circus-sized bazoombaz" ha!!!! you are so silly, i love it.

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  5. I love it that you post like everyday, it is something for me to look forward to. I don't get to your blog everyday so it is like christmas when I come back again and there is like five more posts, yipee!! This blog reminds me of Julie and Julia, but with exercising, yes I think you are that good of a writer. You speak to and from the heart. Oh, so I go on the elliptical too because running while you are pregnant is not suggested, especially when you are in the eighth month of your pregnancy. I get the sporty tiny girls next to me that are going super fast, a rate that I could never do at my size. It must look hilarious to see someone with my pregnant belly on the elliptical, but I get through it with some good punk music.

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  6. That is a great perk that you get a free gym membership. But I agree with Suz - I don't like gyms. no matter how skinny I am I always feel self conscious at a gym. So last year, I worked with a trainer at our office - she gave us all really good rates and she taught me how to workout every muscle using just an excersise ball, free weights, and bands - so now I can have a good strength workout in the comfort of my own basement with no weirdos watching me (just my cute little kiddies - and they sometimes think I'm the weirdo).

    As far as the running goes, I think it definately burns the most calories per minute, but you do need to take it easy on your joints. Try breaking it up once in a while - do you have access to a pool? - swimming laps is good excercise, and good on your joints and can be very theraputic. Also, last year when I was in good shape I only ran 3 times a week (for my knees) the other days I would do a short warm-up and about an hour of strength training.

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