Friday, January 22, 2010

Dear Mommy McMuffin Top

Dear Flabby,

What do you do about 'muffin top'? I don't eat any muffins, yet why does my backside look like a breakfast delicasy?
Yours truly,

Mommy McMuffin Top

Dear Mommy McMuffin Top,

I know how you feel. There are always spanks, but when I wear control tops such as these I feel restricted, and kind of like I am cheating. So what I do instead is buy extra long underwear that kind of works like spanks without the extra hip-squeezing layers. I pull em' up just below my bust line, granny style, to smooth out any bumps, and I wear an extra long t-shirt to cover up the pants which usually end up below my bust line too, to accommodate my bear-claw belly. So just keep that image in your mind and you may feel better about your muffin situation. There is also the top-muffin-top: the little roll of back fat that slips out from above my granny waist system--but the pants and undies just won't pull any higher without giving myself a very painful wedgie. So in the mean time I will just keep that top roll where it is and look at pictures of those wrinkle dogs to help remind me why I am doing this whole weight-loss thing.
-Mrs. Flabby

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