I know I am too scared to tell anyone my actual weight, so I thought today I would describe how much I weigh within a range of characteristics common to the horizontal. I am not heavy enough for the sit-in-the-chair-and-break-it stage, but I am not small enough to be walking around a pool in a bathing suit without people looking just a moment too long, and giving their bathing suit a tug--feeling sympathetically self-consciece. I am not heavy enough to be forced in a mumu, but I am not thin enough to be comfotable in non-elastic pants. Speaking of mumus, above is a picture of a fellow food freak on a particualrly "fat" day, yay Homer. It reminds me of the three mumus I wore when I was 8 1/2 months pregnant--puchased by my mom . I would wear terribly tight slob t-shirts and nasty pajama pants, and my mom baught me neon PINK, BLUE, AND PURPLE mumus, she said "Don't you think it's nice to just throw something on? And it looks really classy; it has a nice line, better than those grungy things." Those of you who know my sweet mom understand exactly how she would say it. At first I wore them just to be nice, but then I fell in love. No elastic, no bulging, just lots and lots of flowing fabric. In case you are wondering, I put them in storage. I forced myself to say goodbye until next time, tear. So I am fat enough to WANT to wear mumus right now, but smart enought to say no, enough is enough. Ok, let's continue: I am not fat enough to pant when I walk accross the room, but I am not thin enough to wear a fited shirt without honest children thinking I am six months pregnant. I am not fat enough to have to wear old-lady black Rebocks with cankles spilling out, but I am not thin enough to strut in stilletoes without wabbling (is anyone thin enough to wear those monsters?) I'm not fat enough for blimp jokes, but I am fat enough for yo' mama jokes. Ohh I could go on and on. But now I will relax with my daily chocolate ration (two frozen squares of Hershey's) and dream of prancing by the pool in my purple mumu with too-dark nylons and black granny shoes.
Bina - sometimes it's better to track weight by BMI instead of weight only. ONce Scott realized he was in the morbidly-obese range and he went on a diet. BMI put in more of a heath perspective, and weight is more about looks.
ReplyDeleteand QUIT BEING SO HARD ON YOURSELF!!!! SHEESH...
your self worth has NOTHING to do with your weight, remember that!
Bina, I agree with Suz, you need to not be so hard on yourself. I think if you love the Mumus - just wear them - even if it is only at night.
ReplyDeleteRight now I wish I had a mumu, as I sit hear and the button of my pants is cutting in to my stomach.
ReplyDeleteI also agree with Suz but having stuggled with weight almost my entire life i know how you feel. even after losing 100 lbs i still am a tad obsessed with gaining it back so i have to remember it is MORE about health than about looks. Just remember you are doing this so you can live longer and see your baby girl grow up! Love you!!
ReplyDeleteBina, I have a mumu as well from Mom. It is a jean material with some flowers around the bust. It even has pockets!! I answered the door once wearing black socks and that mumu. ha!
ReplyDeleteWow! I thought my mom was the only mom in the world who would buy me a mumu when I was pregnant! She brought it all the way from Hawaii. Mines blue with lei's on it.
ReplyDeleteNote to self: NEVER buy someone a mumu, it's a personal choice.