Thursday, February 25, 2010

With a head in the toilet

My internet is broken again, and has been for three days. I meant to take down that horrible picture of me crying sooner, but was not willing to drag my toddler around town to do it. Enough is enough. I don't want the ugly cry to scare anyone away from my blog and lose hope in my future. I now have the memories of that wonderful surprise and no longer need to look at my double-chin and slippery mascara. "Don't be so hard on yourself, ok!?" Just trying to keep everyone honest, especially yours- truly.

Speaking of honesty, my knee started aching again. So I took a short jog-stroll on Tuesday, did not run on Wednesday and today walked around Disneyland for exercise. My knee is feeling better-- I think it was a healthy holiday. But I gained three pounds--perhaps a regular up-and-down anomaly. It still hurts, deep down, right "here" (pointing to my heart, in soap-opera fashion). I am not changing my stats. I don't want to give non-READERS the pleasure of knowing that little detail simply in passing. Pride is hard work, you see. I will be on the road again tomorrow to run my 5K, and there is another official 5K on March 13th. I am not off the wagon; just had to skip off for a pee-break. " FLUSSSHH. "

"So what is it with the toilet picture?" I found my toddler in this state the other evening and had to capture the moment. She has been very creative and obstinate about her toilet-tutelage. I know, I know, every kid goes through it. I have enough crap lodged in my fingernails to understand it takes time, so spare me the lecture. "Why the sour tone?" Well, fat and fecal-matter will do that to a lady. Moving along...I saw this picture and thought, "Wow, that is ME!" You see, for a long time I was trying to "poop-away" my weight problems by sticking my head in the toilet. It took me a while to realize that I was upside-down, giving myself a whirly, and making a serious mess of the ceiling. Again you say "What is she talking about?" The metaphor is a stretch, but I was completely "upside-down" in my weight-loss ideology. I thought , "A little fast food won't hurt," and "The baby-weight comes off naturally," I was completely wrong. It takes hard, sweaty, daily work, and it does not happen over-night. It was like saying to myself, "Yeah, it's easy, go to the bathroom with your head in the toilet." It didn't make sense, and the wrongful thinking made a big mess of things. I am right-side up now, but dealing with the damp, stinky, hair; and just trying to PUSH, I know, gross. Thank you for your support, especially with the 5K, now wish me luck again, and (do I dare?) pull my finger.


  1. you are doing great bina. and that little girl of yours looks exactly like you! how cute! running is so hard on your knees, especially when trying to get used to it and increase distance and speed. you should try some videos in there too. i have some great ones that aren't high impact but are high intensity. cardio and toning. check out

  2. Hahahaha! This reminded me of our friends we used to have sleepovers with. Their house was SICK and DISGUSTING!! They had about 50 kids and would leave the cloth diapers in the toilets. They didn't get taken out until the toilet was completely filled to the top with poop and pee and diapers. It really was probably the worst thing I've ever seen AND smelled in my life. Anyhow, when we'd sleep over their dad would chase us and hang us over those toilets by our feet and tease that he was going to give us a swirly. HOLY MOLY!! Anyhow, it made me laugh. I remember my hands on those toilet seats pushing up with all my might, much like Ally's picture, hoping my hair wouldn't touch the crap, literal crap, below. Anyhow, sick story to share but I thought you would like it. And thanks for the phone call last night, I feel MUCH better now!! You're awesome, keep up the good work. I'm skipping the gym today to work in my yard for 5 hours now like you did the other day. See you Sunday . . .