My internet is broken again, and has been for three days. I meant to take down that horrible picture of me crying sooner, but was not willing to drag my toddler around town to do it. Enough is enough. I don't want the ugly cry to scare anyone away from my blog and lose hope in my future. I now have the memories of that wonderful surprise and no longer need to look at my double-chin and slippery mascara. "Don't be so hard on yourself, ok!?" Just trying to keep everyone honest, especially yours- truly.
Speaking of honesty, my knee started aching again. So I took a short jog-stroll on Tuesday, did not run on Wednesday and today walked around Disneyland for exercise. My knee is feeling better-- I think it was a healthy holiday. But I gained three pounds--perhaps a regular up-and-down anomaly. It still hurts, deep down, right "here" (pointing to my heart, in soap-opera fashion). I am not changing my stats. I don't want to give non-READERS the pleasure of knowing that little detail simply in passing. Pride is hard work, you see. I will be on the road again tomorrow to run my 5K, and there is another official 5K on March 13th. I am not off the wagon; just had to skip off for a pee-break. " FLUSSSHH. "
"So what is it with the toilet picture?" I found my toddler in this state the other evening and had to capture the moment. She has been very creative and obstinate about her toilet-tutelage. I know, I know, every kid goes through it. I have enough crap lodged in my fingernails to understand it takes time, so spare me the lecture. "Why the sour tone?" Well, fat and fecal-matter will do that to a lady. Moving along...I saw this picture and thought, "Wow, that is ME!" You see, for a long time I was trying to "poop-away" my weight problems by sticking my head in the toilet. It took me a while to realize that I was upside-down, giving myself a whirly, and making a serious mess of the ceiling. Again you say "What is she talking about?" The metaphor is a stretch, but I was completely "upside-down" in my weight-loss ideology. I thought , "A little fast food won't hurt," and "The baby-weight comes off naturally," I was completely wrong. It takes hard, sweaty, daily work, and it does not happen over-night. It was like saying to myself, "Yeah, it's easy, go to the bathroom with your head in the toilet." It didn't make sense, and the wrongful thinking made a big mess of things. I am right-side up now, but dealing with the damp, stinky, hair; and just trying to PUSH, I know, gross. Thank you for your support, especially with the 5K, now wish me luck again, and (do I dare?) pull my finger.