Wednesday, February 3, 2010

A few solutions

The pecans in my yard have been tempting me, as mentioned in an earlier post. But a few angels crossed my path to rid me of the naughty nuts. I was walking back from the laundry coin-op and saw an Asian couple picking pecans off the road. "Are you picking pecans?" They shook their heads and said "No the English." I tried to explain that I had lots of pecans in my yard and they could have them--talking really loud (in English) and using obnoxious hand gestures as if my mannerisms would make them magically understand. So I tugged on their bag of pecans and motioned them to follow me; they understood this part. As they bantered back and forth behind me, I picked up a few words here and there: they were speaking Chinese (Thank you two years of High School mandarin class). I foolishly said the one thing that I knew how to say, "I am American," then went on (with my huge, improvised sign language) to say that I could write better than I could speak. They looked at me like I was a purple-people-eater just landed from the moon, so I waved my hand in the air to say "Oh, never mind." I could tell they appreciated my effort. It wasn't enough; I was going to communicate with these folks! So in a move that says Mary all over it (my dear mom), I called my brother in Florida, fluent in Chinese, and asked him to tell the couple they can have as much as they want and to come back whenever. "Um, ok," he said, but kindly obliged. I handed the phone to the jovial lady and said "Ge Ge," (Big brother in Chinese). Suddenly her face lit up and she went on and on in her fast tounge. My brother said she expressed her thanks and that we were welcome to come visit her in Beijing any time. I later reiterated the story to my husband, he laughed, and said, "That is exactly something your mom would do." A sound compliment. Now my other solution: getting my daughter to poop. I bought this makeup kit, she is obsessed with makeup, it cost me only 3.70 from the Rite Aid Christmas clearance rack. I said "If you make poo-poo, you can do Mommy's makeup!" I opened the case and showed her the prize, she gasped, and said "Whooaa." She has yet to fall for my scheme; we have not caught a single little nugget. Now I need to figure out how to change my training for the 5K that surprised me with the description "Slight incline," so I made the picture in the post below to help visualize the finish, and the victory: finishing. Also, here is the makeup kit.


  1. That is such a great story ... and, yes, it did remind me of mom!

  2. You are adorable, I love this story. You are basically a young version of your mother, it is amazing. Remember that time she took a picture of us with a disposable camera after you'd been crying? And I still have her corsage that she gave me at your wedding when she said to me, "You're special." I also was just thinking of your mom today and how you described to me how she was learning german over the phone with a tutor. She makes me smile, and so do you!

  3. That is a total Mom story. It reminded me of how Mom ended up being friends witn Anna Sui's (the desinger) parents. They were looking for fresh mint at the grocery store and the grocery store employee said they didn't carry it. Mom said, "We have a whole bush at our house! ha! She invited them over and then became friends. The most random fact is that Anna Sui came to our farm! :-) ha! PS.. I like all of the learn how to speak Chinese Ads! ha!