Thursday, April 8, 2010

Costco Coutour

Since my little darling was born, I boxed up all of my clothes (size 6 and 8) and marked them "CLOTHES THAT DON'T FIT ME YET." Sadly, they are still rotting in storage--it's ok. Right after she was born I wore T-shirts, scrubs, and pajama pants. About 8 months later I realized my body was not bouncing back on its own so I splurged on a few nice looking BIG MAMA clothes. Here is the mistake I made: I bought sizes that were HUGE on me--like XXXL. I tried to hide behind tent-like structures until the magical day when size 6 would come calling. Let me tell you something from personal experience---DON'T BUY TENT CLOTHES!! Although they may be comfortable and breezy, they only add inches to your silhouette. I am much bigger than before giving birth, but I still have a waist, and Big Mama clothes don't accentuate natural curves--they make me look like a big, fat, shipping crate. (By the way, Ally, Sweetie, if you are reading this sometime in the future, it is not your fault that I am fat, it is MY fault and mine alone. You are the best thing in my life and I would gain another 300 pounds if that was the only way I could keep you. Mommy's just trying to be healthy so we can do lots of fun things together for a long, long time.) Another benefit of wearing slightly form-fitting clothes (I'll pass on the silver body gloves for now) is that they make me focus on my posture and my shape. It is difficult to hide a weekend-binge bulge in a nice, fitted little top. If something feels a little bit uncomfortable--like it's tugging a little more--I know it's time to get my butt back on healthy habit highway.

As part of my goal to rid my wardrobe of tent-structures, I treated myself to a little shopping at Costco. I really like buying clothes there because I can take them HOME to try on and not have to worry about a 50-page return policy, the clothes are well-made, brand-names at reasonable prices (it's amazing how my Wal Mart clothes shred themselves to pieces), and most of the items feature a classic look instead of being overly trendy--I don't have money to buy new clothes each season. I picked a pair of jeans size 14--I haven't been able to pull size 14 over my hips in over two years--the audacity of hope. And two others, size 16, which I knew would fit comfortably. A few tops sprinkled on top and I was ready to go. This is the best part--each pair of pants had a zipper, and, can you imagine...Buttons!! Another little scapegoat I have used these past two years is the elastic waist--but I have come to the sobering conclusion that elastic wastes are for geriatric patients and pregnant women. Oh hum. I ran inside with my pile of clothes and FIRST tried on the size fourteen pair--and guess what? THEY FIT OVER MY HIPS. Don't get too excited though; my saggy hip flab spilled over generously into a king size muffin top (see above). And to button them would mean the end of my poor tailbone; and way too tight in all the wrong places--that wouldn't be fair to the innocent children. But I was happy nonetheless. I ended with just two shirts and said "No way" to the tent ones, and "Bye bye" to the buttons and zippers. I am not ready to be THAT uncomfortable yet. I have been spoiled. After my next 15 pounds I will make a point of buying myself a FLATTERING pair of real pants, something to work toward. But for now, I will watch my daughter devour that naughty Costco-dog while I dream of skinnier times and sip an ice cold diet coke. Ahhh


  1. Bina, you are funny. Your paintings are great. I love reading this blog of yours!! You are so real and so alive and so aware and I just adore it. I think you are a strong, tough woman and you're a great example too! And I know I've told ya before, but you should check out Ross. It really does have some great clothes for super cheap. You have to be willing to dig but it's worth it. I think you'd love it. Enjoy your yummy drink, all's we've got here is water. Bummer.

  2. I got rid of all my "skinny" clothes a few years ago. Except for one pair of my FAVORITE jeans. There's still hope, right?
    Your doing awsome!

  3. Pumpkin Queen,
    thank you for being such a great support, you are so good to me. I went to Ross today, AMAZING. Terrible, smelly, and disorganized, but hey, if it helps me save money, smear poop on the walls!!

    I have so much comfort knowing you read my blog. You are very kind, a great friend, yet I know you are honest and real. I'm glad Im not the only one with a "skinny" collection. Everyone on TV says I must give away all the clothes I haven't worn in a year, but they don't know true poverty and the anxiety of taking away a hoarders stash, HA!!

  4. Ha! I love stashes of clothes. Costco purchases are as good as cash. I LOVE the return policy. You need to make sure to get yourself a few nice items ;-)

  5. Cathy
    If I had a wardrobe even HALF the size of your cotume collection, or even WIG collection, I'd be fancier than one of those Thick southern belles (Kathy Bates' character on the office comes to mind).

  6. HAHAHAHAHA!! Nice one Bina. Unfortunately, I forgot to mention that the Ross closest to you is probably the junkiest and dirtiest of all the Ross's I've ever been in. In fact, it's so bad it makes Hemet's look good and we all know Hemet's is CRUSTY!! Anyhow, I'm glad you liked it because truly, it's fabulous stuff in the end. Yahooooooo

  7. bina. love it. my crack is probably always showing at costco while i chow on my hot dog. i am squeezing my big old muffin top and laughing. i've been running, but now i'm in my 30s and weightloss is slow and painful. keep it up.