Friday, March 12, 2010

A burning party and "Uplifting" news

I did it. I marched into the well manicured black, pink, and chrome etched store, plowed past the teeny tiny scandalous thongs and blurted to a clerk, "Where are your 40DD's?" She looked at me in disbelief, took a breath and said, "Um, ok, let's see here." One of those Victoria's Secret bras would be mine, and I was not going to leave until it was found. As she rummaged through drawers and drawers of undergarments, I imagined the poor bra with a big job ahead of it. I thought "It will be hard work to hold these monsters in, but you will have an owner and I will have the support I need to get my lady lumps moving north." Out of all the bras in that naughty place, they found me five styles, only FIVE bras that would fit my monstrosities. Stock up on your big-mama sizes ok!? So me and toddler rolled into the very back dressing room, I disrobed, took a deep breath, preparing myself mentally for the possibility that none of these holsters would fit (these things looked suitable as a double-hat for a gigantic two-headed monster). I snap, snap, snapped it on (yes, three clasps, halleluiah), put on my T-shirt and looked in the mirror. "Nice," I thought, then I bounced up and down, "Very nice!" I twirled around in a little victory dance and exclaimed, "Yayyyyy!" Ally said, "Mommy you are so beautiful!" And I felt beautiful. Whoever said that the right bra can make you look 10 pounds lighter was right, actually I think it was the bra lady on Oprah. I was comfortable and shapely, a grand improvement from the Wal-Mart thing that made me look like I had a tube balloon filled with fat wrapped around my front. So, I thought it might be fun to have a bra burning party, not in the 60's crazed feminist way, rather, in the I-am-sick-of-cheap-and-frumpy way. I feel uplifted quite literally. Oh and this morning I power walked a full 5K, it took me 45 minutes, pretty good for speed walking. And guess what haters and doubters, I am SORE ALL OVER from WALKING. Thanks again for your support, keep commenting, and next week I will update my stats. By the way, I strutted past the models spinning the bright pink bag around my finger, just to make sure they could see. HAH!


  1. Yay! Way to get those monsters under control! I need a new bra as well .. 3 kids can really do it to you! Good job with the walking 5k!

  2. Love it! I need to stop being so cheap too and see if they can do anything to help my "nearly A's"--hooray for you.

  3. I have the same problem with my 38DD's! I enjoy calling my bras (qouted from the movie "Beaches") OVER THE SHOULDER BOULDER HOLDERS!

  4. OH bina you are so funny!!!! i love the image of the hat for a double headed monsters. hilarious. i won't forget that one.

    ummmm.... do mom and dad follow your blog? what would they think of this post.

    too too funny

    AGAIN - this is SUZZZZZZZZ