Wednesday, June 2, 2010

My new biggest fan

I am a person very guilty of living by the mantra, "If everyone likes me, everything is fine." Wouldn't it be funny if someone toll-painted that quote on a decorative, wood, wall-piece to hang above their hearth in place of "Home is where the heart is." I guess my in-your-face saying would be honest but defiantly a little jarring and awkward for the guests.

I've said many times that I NEED your comments, and really I HAVE needed them to feel validated, worthwhile, and accepted. But I have come to the realization that when I am out there sweating like a dehydrated pig, or making choices about what to eat, unfortunately I am usually by myself and don't have the benefit of your motivating comments. So I am working on something new--becoming my own biggest fan. Not in a narcissistic way, but in a healthy, "Self, you can do this, and you know you can," way. Please feel free to comment, and I will comment back--but do not feel obligated. If I continue on my weight loss journey depending on other people, I will end up a skinny person full of self-doubt. I have come so far, and I have worked so hard, but a voice inside still sometimes says "You haven't worked hard enough." And it is this voice that makes me want to give up and just be what I think I am--a Fatty. So as head of my own fan club here is my first comment to myself--Good job working hard and allowing yourself to not be perfect, because no one is.


  1. You can do it! You've already come so far! You are right that the best motivation HAS to come from within. But we will be here cheering you on the rest of the way!

  2. Hey Bina!!! I know what you mean about the voices - ha ha - when I am trying to run hard, there is a weak little voice saying, "why am i doing this... it's too hard... it's not worth it... i'm still not skinny." I try to tell that voice to shut up! Then I try to actually speak the more positive thoughts aloud, "like, COME ON!! You can do this!! You work out is only a small portion of the entire day!! you're doing great..." Am I CRAZY????