I did not want to say goodbye to August without a single post--so here it goes. I've suffered a terrible spell of writers-block these past few weeks. It seemed almost silly to write about weight loss when I am pregnant and likely to be GAINing weight. Also I am sensitive to the fact that many readers are NOT pregnant, and reading my rants about a pregnant body and the nasty things that are happening under and on my skin will probably get old and irritating, however (but, nonetheless, be it as it may, still,--PICK any conditional transition word of your liking): This is MY blog! Take it or leave it, love it or hate it, shmuv it or shmate it. I have been feeling very lonely and isolated in this pregnancy--like I would be breaking some sort of secret code of silence amongst women if I discuss my life and experiences while pregnant, as if it were a SIN. It is not a sin; we all need support and love no matter where we are in life, pregnant, or no-pregnant. On that note...
I have not moved my body in four weeks!! How's THAT for weight-loss motivation!!?? Everyone experiences different challenges in first-trimester pregnancy. For me, it seems my little baby has been injecting me with regular, hourly doses of nausea-inducing Nyquil. I feel very spacey, almost drunk, tired, and sick to my stomach. (It's ok, I can do this, just temporary, I tell myself) Last week I was so frustrated and sick of being sick I quoted a funny line from "The Wedding Singer" on facebook that said, "I just want someone to hold me and tell me everything is gonna be alright." Unfortunately my friends didn't catch the tongue-n-cheek tone of my plea, and were actually quite concerned for me. It was nice to know that people care, but really, IM FINE. Especially fine now that I've had a chance to see what has been causing me all this grief--the little two-inch perfect person in my belly swimming on the sonogram monitor--AMAZING. After I got the first glimpse of that little life and its heart-beat, things felt a lot more manageable, and I am actually much more awake and settled than weeks past, BLESSING.
Another blessing: I lost 10 pounds during this first trimester--no appetite. I am sure I will make up for it and more in weeks to come, but it is nice to have a little more wiggle room early on. Speaking of wiggle room--I can't find a darn pair of pants that are comfortable. Shameful as it may seem, since my daughter was born I have stuck with elastic-band waist-lines (GRANDMA!!). I am past the point of jeans and I can’t let the elastic-pants hang on my normal waist because my belly button is extra sensitive, and if I let the waist sit on my hips, I get all kinds of blubber spillage, creating the classic "tire" look. I guess I could always pull the waist right under my boobs, right? (I have a sister in-law that was known to carefully track the distance between her belly button and top of her pants to make sure they didn't ride up as she aged--it seems we ladies just keep pulling them up and up and up, until the pants are covering our pendulous breasts).
There is something to be said for button/zipper pants. Although not comfortable for the chunky among us, the discomfort can actually serve as an important REMINDER. For example "Self, stop eating, or you're gonna have to undo the top button," or "Oh, these jeans fit fine last month, I must be gaining a few inches." Gentle nudges from our favorite pants to remind us that staying a certain size takes work. But Ugghhh the stretchy pants are so ACEPTING of my bulges. When this baby is born I suppose I could make a goal to wear NORMAL pants at least 3 days out of the week, and on a good day of running I can reward myself by curling up in my MC-Hammer tent pants (and see how spacious they have become?). I'll let you know how THAT goes, but for now, me and my stretchy pants are going to happily expand throughout this pregnancy.