Thursday, August 26, 2010


I did not want to say goodbye to August without a single post--so here it goes. I've suffered a terrible spell of writers-block these past few weeks. It seemed almost silly to write about weight loss when I am pregnant and likely to be GAINing weight. Also I am sensitive to the fact that many readers are NOT pregnant, and reading my rants about a pregnant body and the nasty things that are happening under and on my skin will probably get old and irritating, however (but, nonetheless, be it as it may, still,--PICK any conditional transition word of your liking): This is MY blog! Take it or leave it, love it or hate it, shmuv it or shmate it. I have been feeling very lonely and isolated in this pregnancy--like I would be breaking some sort of secret code of silence amongst women if I discuss my life and experiences while pregnant, as if it were a SIN. It is not a sin; we all need support and love no matter where we are in life, pregnant, or no-pregnant. On that note...

I have not moved my body in four weeks!! How's THAT for weight-loss motivation!!?? Everyone experiences different challenges in first-trimester pregnancy. For me, it seems my little baby has been injecting me with regular, hourly doses of nausea-inducing Nyquil. I feel very spacey, almost drunk, tired, and sick to my stomach. (It's ok, I can do this, just temporary, I tell myself) Last week I was so frustrated and sick of being sick I quoted a funny line from "The Wedding Singer" on facebook that said, "I just want someone to hold me and tell me everything is gonna be alright." Unfortunately my friends didn't catch the tongue-n-cheek tone of my plea, and were actually quite concerned for me. It was nice to know that people care, but really, IM FINE. Especially fine now that I've had a chance to see what has been causing me all this grief--the little two-inch perfect person in my belly swimming on the sonogram monitor--AMAZING. After I got the first glimpse of that little life and its heart-beat, things felt a lot more manageable, and I am actually much more awake and settled than weeks past, BLESSING.

Another blessing: I lost 10 pounds during this first trimester--no appetite. I am sure I will make up for it and more in weeks to come, but it is nice to have a little more wiggle room early on. Speaking of wiggle room--I can't find a darn pair of pants that are comfortable. Shameful as it may seem, since my daughter was born I have stuck with elastic-band waist-lines (GRANDMA!!). I am past the point of jeans and I can’t let the elastic-pants hang on my normal waist because my belly button is extra sensitive, and if I let the waist sit on my hips, I get all kinds of blubber spillage, creating the classic "tire" look. I guess I could always pull the waist right under my boobs, right? (I have a sister in-law that was known to carefully track the distance between her belly button and top of her pants to make sure  they didn't ride up as she aged--it seems we ladies just keep pulling them up and up and up, until the pants are covering our pendulous breasts).

There is something to be said for button/zipper pants. Although not comfortable for the chunky among us, the discomfort can actually serve as an important REMINDER. For example "Self, stop eating, or you're gonna have to undo the top button," or "Oh, these jeans fit fine last month, I must be gaining a few inches." Gentle nudges from our favorite pants to remind us that staying a certain size takes work. But Ugghhh the stretchy pants are so ACEPTING of my bulges. When this baby is born I suppose I could make a goal to wear NORMAL pants at least 3 days out of the week, and on a good day of running I can reward myself by curling up in my MC-Hammer tent pants (and see how spacious they have become?). I'll let you know how THAT goes, but for now, me and my stretchy pants are going to happily expand throughout this pregnancy.


  1. Great post Bina! Lily likes your little fetus widget. She said, "That's a funny baby" I've gone through this 3 times. All of the pregnancy health books, blogs, etc say .. "It's great to exercise while pregnant, healthy for your baby!" Saying is a LOT easier than doing. I have consistently committed to stay in moderate shape during pregnancy. I have consistently broken that commitment during the first trimester. IT's HARD!! All you want to do is curl up in a ball in your bed. So, hang in there. I've always noticed a MAJOR uplift in how I felt around week 12 or 13.

  2. Bina,

    I'm glad that you're BACK! You've been missed in the cyberworld.

    Here's what I'm getting from your post - you are not eating enough. 10 lbs is a lot to loose without exercising and it is part of why you are so fatigued. You have to force yourself to eat, even if you are not feeling well. You need to be able to function, and that low-energy nyquil feeling is not just the baby, it's the low blood sugar, too tired from not eating feeling.

    Stock up on some simple snacks and force yourself to eat them, so you can have just a little bit of energy for Ally. Here are my favorites, wheat thins with laughing cow cheese spread, ghram crackers (sometimes with peanut butter or nutella). Apples and caramel dip, Ritz crackers, a bland cereal, like life or rice crispys. It's when your stomach is too empty that you'll feel even sicker.

    I walked around like a zombie for about a week or so, then one morning scott brought home krispy creme donuts and i ate two when i got up. i still felt a little sick, but I had ENERGY to do laundry.

    SO EAT EAT EAT EAT for your two babies :)

  3. I'm so glad I found your blog! Since pregnancy I have grown to LOVE leggings. Stretchy pants in ALL areas! I know, fat girls aren't technically supposed to wear leggings, but when you're wearing a big dress-like shirt on top that goes almost down to your knees to cover the the fattest parts of your body I see no harm done, right?!

    As for your previous post, I LOVED IT! The other day I was at Lagoon with my 9 year old step-son and 10 year old nephew. We were talking about one of the rides and my nephew Michael said to me, "Yeah but YOU cannot go on that, it would be bad for the baby." I replied, "What baby?" He looked at me, stammered, and said, "Oh...nevermind" (accompanied by a slight giggle). I said, "Michael, what're you talking about?" He said, "Did you already have the baby? Yeah...oh already had the baby." (Yes, NINE MONTHS AGO!) Then I said, "MICHAEL! Are you saying I look PREGNANT?!" He replied, "Well..." (looking me up and down) "...maybe!" My son, Spencer, missed most of this and asked what we were talking about. I told him Michael said I look fat. Michael then replied, "No I didn't! It's just when you're pregnant your skin gets all stretched and now you're skin is just all flabby." Wow...thanks for clarifying...that's SO much better than being it's not! Oh, the honesty of kids. I tried to laugh it off and have repeated the story to all of my sisters in hopes that they'll say, "You're not fat" or something equally reassuring, although I know I am. It's hard not to let the truth hurt sometimes! At least you ARE pregnant and have an excuse for being a little "flabby"! (I still have a hard time picturing you as anything but thin though!)

  4. Lots of pregnancy friendly styles out there now.......I just keep wondering as I look at the ticker if you'll have a boy or a girl! Bina with a little boy might be funny

  5. Bina, I know we are told that we should exercise throughout pregnancy, to be healthy, but don't feel bad because I couldn't do it, either. The first trimester is soooo tiring - I had to let exercise go, so that I could use what little energy I had to take care of my family. But I do agree with Suz's comment - you need to make sure you are eating - just a little bit every 2 - 2 1/2 hours. This actually helps nausea, even though you don't feel like eating - it is best to keep something in your stomach. The worst is when you wait too many hours to eat - you'll feel really sick and then anything you eventually do eat will make you really sick having it on an empty stomach. Hang in there! Hopefully the sickness/tiredness will ease up for you in a few weeks. For me, I got a burst of energy around 14 weeks and I was able to start going on walks occasionally for exercise.
    Lots of love! Becca

    (by the way - I am wearing stretchy gaucho pants right now - "When you are a man, sometimes you wear streatchy pants in your room....just for fun." -Nacho)

  6. Pregnancy is amazing even if you feel sick and tired. Take care of yourself and your little growing person. I hope you start feeling better. (I'm wearing stretchy pants too right now). =)