Per Annum

At this time of year many of us look back at the previous twelve months and take an inventory of our accomplishments and consider goals for the year ahead. I started this blog on December 29, 2009 and one year later I am sitting here trying to find something to say that will inspire my readers but I am at a loss. How can I offer a profound tid-bit about weight loss when all I can think about is the Cadbury Cream Egg I ate just an hour ago (Yes, it is December and the Cadbury's are already prominently displayed in my local Rite Aid--there is no hope for any of us). I can't really say that I've lost two dress sizes, or that I have competed in triathlon events, or even that I have had a great awakening and am now a work-out-every-day-exercise freak. One year later, most of my shirts are still XL, I still don't like exercising, and I'd still rather eat chocolate cake than carrot sticks.

The most important change this past year is much more subtle, but much more meaningful to me than numbers on the scale. When I really think about the best thing that has happened, it is this: I have learned to care about myself. Before last year, you would find me stuck on the couch wearing old, stained t-shirts feeling very sorry for myself. And while I still enjoy an evening relaxing in my most prized homeless attire, I've allowed myself, for the most part, to look and feel good. The most depressing, I-can't-do-it day is always a little bit better with washed hair, normal clothes, and a little makeup. It says "Although I am feeling terrible, I deserve to look awesome!” I've learned that when I do exercise regularly, I feel much better, and really I deserve to feel good. And although I still indulge in my favorite treats, I have learned that eating too much food is not the way to happiness (OK I LIED, those LINDOR chocolate truffles are a one-way ticket to bliss). But really, food isn't as big of an issue because I listen to my true needs. I am so happy and truly proud of how I've changed, and that is the best New Years gift of all.