Grooming

I got up and ran this morning at 7:17; about 2.2 miles this time. One more benefit of getting up at 6:00 is clean-feeling lungs; it feels like they soak up less exhaust and smog. Yesterday I did not exercise in the morning...or the afternoon, so I promised my little family that I would dust off the lawn mower and attack the mole-hill, weed-mine ridden lawn with ugly patches of grass sprouting in early anticipation of spring. It looked like the awkward little pock-ridden pre-pubescent in serious need of some attention and acne medication. After digging, ripping, pushing, pulling, and raking I decided that next year I would rather run two 5Ks back-to-back instead of treating a three-month neglected lawn with hand clippers, and an old-fashioned push-mower. I was sweating from head-to-cankles, like a real prairie lady, minus the awkward dress--I sported my polka-dot-heart shirt, and the pink PJ cut-offs, too cute. I shouldn't complain too much--the push mower saves us hundreds in lawn care and it really is a good work-out. Speaking of saving, and grooming, my hair is now a solid two colors. After about one-and-a-half years of experimenting with home dyes and highlight caps, browns turning red, and zebra streaks going horizontal, it was time to call it quits. I will wait until I can afford a real hair professional to lighten my locks. My current hair color is what I like to call the trashy-two-tone. Right now I need to put aside vanity and soak up the opportunities to learn a few things. But when that time comes I am going to get a hairdresser, and a gardener, a good one, for now, I have another reason to break a sweat and burn some calories.

Clearing my head

You may be wondering how I could lose the inches posted above in just a two-day period. Well it may be a measuring anomaly, but I'll take it. I think it could be real, though, because I am running every day and I have a lot to lose. Also I must confess to one thing, or at least, correct something I have posted. I said no sugar drinks or juice, but there is one exception, my other true love: fresh squeezed orange juice. There is nothing like it, it is literally liquid elation to the soul. Having lived in cold climates most of my life, I soak up orange season here like I will never see an orange again. I am a real snob now, don't you dare present me with Tropicana, or even Florida orange, they are NOTHING to my sweet, sweet fresh-squeeze...all things in moderation though. I limit myself to 8oz every morning with breakfast. I know, I know there is sugar in it, and probably lots of it, I am just trying to make BETTER choices. High-fructose concentrate, or fresh from mother-earth liquid oranges? You see my point? Anyway, lately the cravings for sweets and baked goods have been really been messing with my head. "I can just have one cookie, or just a bite, can't I?" But I am afraid one bite turns into two-dozen. So, when I get a craving, I step aside and think to myself, "Am I really hungry?," "Am I feeling lonely, and want some food to fill the void?," "Is that 50+ minutes of sweat this morning worth the cookies?" I have to reason with the blue monster inside of me and let him know that food is to nourish not to numb. I did have one cookie, I decided that one was ok. I ate it, and was satisfied, VICTORY! Let me explain: life is full of goodies, and I cannot avoid them completely--so I am really happy that I was able to eat just ONE cookie. It is all very psychoanalytical, but taking a moment to clear my head, maybe even swing on the hammock helps me to make better food choices.

Road-ent Rules

I have changed my goals a little bit on the right side of the page to show where I am at now. I ran to the gym again this morning and I discovered there is an indoor track circling above a basketball court. Not a very long track, but smooth, even, and out of the elements. I whipped one turn around that thing, and I was out of there. It's one thing to have A weird guy leering, but the two entire basketball teams of mid-life crisis, headband wearing jocks watching me bounce around above was almost enough for me to want to quit for the day. But I did not. I went on the elliptical again. I am trying to make peace with the gym, you see. It is weird and awkward, and sometimes I feel like a stupid hamster on a wheel going nowhere-FAST, but because of the gym, I can exercise even when it is pouring rain. I may not always live in such a sunny place as SoCal, so I must face my demons at the gym (mostly the 40-somethings with black, fingerless, weight gloves). And I read in this endurance magazine that it is important to change up the exercise especially when training for a race--safety for the joints. I will try to run outside about 4 out of 6 days, and tough-out the gym the other two. There is one more awkward thing that I have encountered though: seeing people I know. I have seen some of my husband's classmates, among others, heaving under some torture contraption in the weight room, and I know they have seen me. But we don't acknowledge each other. It almost feels like I am walking in on someone doing a #2, then later we both pretend it never happened, ya know, it just doesn't feel right to see people in that state. I know! They should make exercise stalls with little locks that are soundproof, so you can grunt, huff, puff, belch, and sweat without anyone giving it a second thought. Then I could fulfill my dream to run naked! (it's a joke, people). I just have to say thanks for all of your support, it really has helped me stick with it, even when it makes me feel like a dumb, cuddly rodent.

Inch by inch

I've heard the saying "Inch by inch, life's a synch, yard by yard, life is hard." It really hits home today because I did the unthinkable: I took my body measurements--hips, waist, bust, upper arm, upper thigh--ouch to the ego. So now I will post my inch loss as well as weight loss, sorry nosey-nosies, I am not giving you my current measurements, only the total inches lost each week. I know I am not giving the whole story, but if I did, you would all cry in your beds out of pity. Results are not coming as fast as I would like, but it's ok: this way is healthy, I am averaging about 2 pounds per week. I have to remember that fad diets and starvation may produce quick results but not lasting results, this must be a LIFE change. I will also add the count-down to my first 5K run, please cheer for me. On a happier note, I did a whole hour of cardio today. I ran to the gym, went on the elliptical (which is getting easier), then ran back home. I can defiantly feel my endurance level increasing. I always feel awkward when I have to run in front of a car at a stop sign. According to High School drivers-ed they are supposed to count to five-apple, but by two-apple they are glaring at me, I want to shout "I'm going as fast as I can, you are warm in your car, and I am out here working my butt, so just wait a couple of seconds!" The furry! Oh and I really need to change the songs on my IPod shuffle. Church music is wonderful, but it just makes me feel awkward hearing it while I run. And some of the punk-rock songs have a beat that is just too fast. It fills me with anxiety and kind of takes over my brain, "Beat fast. Must speed up now. Too slow. Speed, speed. More Speed." As you know, I like to laugh about my fat issues, so I created this silly cartoon, I hope it makes you laugh too.

The sad stool

My poor little finger

Obviously when you get fat, things change; I mean, ALL OVER. For example, my poor little finger has been caged by my wedding ring for a little over three years. I have not been able to take the thing off even for medical procedures which require removal of all jewelry when going under anesthesia. Before fatty-days I didn't like to take it off very often anyway, my spacey brain would lose it in a heartbeat. But it would be nice to be able to clean it thoroughly again. I thought it might be fun to measure the millimeters lost on my ring finger as part of my weight loss stats, like a waist line, but with my finger. I will call it my "Finger Line." Currently my finger line is 70mm; I will be plus-size ring shopping for my next anniversary. My friend recently showed me a funny website that features humorous pictures created using the very juvenile, grainy Microsoft paint. So I thought I would copy the idea and add some original artwork to my posts. And here is the first: I shall call it "The Sorry Sausage Finger"

A flying flatus

I stepped outside to bright rainbow sherbet clouds smeared over a Caribbean-blue sky. A perfect beginning to another long run--I did my 5K again this morning, and it was easier, and faster. I found that if I keep my eyes looking forward it is much easier to keep going and reach my goal, I know, I know another cliché' life-lesson from running. But really, I used to stare about three feet ahead of me on the ground when I ran. "Oh no, look there is a bumpy patch, what am I going to do, slow down? Hop over it?" So now I hold my head high and say, "Road, I don't like you, and you don't like me--with all your pot-holes and trickery--but we are going to do this, and I am gonna keep my chin up, and eventually my saggy butt, and attack your joint-busting surface day after day." Another great thing about exercising out-doors is the freedom to let my body relax. You see, as I have changed my exercise and eating habits I have become a very gassy girl. Don't you tell me I am being gross because no matter how proper you think you are, at the end of the day we all must drop our pants and do a #2, whew, anyway. At the Gym when I am swiveling on the elliptical, it is like a gas factory pumping the bubbles in my gut at a perfect rhythm ready to be released. But I have head phones on, and there are people next to me. I won't know if it is silent, but if it is silent, won't it be deadly? So I squeeze them in--which I guess ads to the exercise--workin' my glutes. Oh but the great outdoors receive my flatulence with such grace, whisping them away like an afterthought in the churning of the wind, like sound, and smell don't exist, all is free. I do have to be careful, however, about what I eat the night before; we don't want things to get out of hand, and on my underwear, ewww, I know. Just keeping it real. But hey, if it means I am going to lose weight, I will toot-toot-toot all the way home.

The skies have parted

The big rain storm has subsided and there is blue all around the atmosphere, great day for a run. I decided to do a real 5K this morning, (actually going on Google maps to draw out the course). I wanted to see where I'm at physically and if I could complete the daunting length without passing out and splatting on the pavement. I have signed up for an official 5K on Feb 20, just a little less than a month away; I really needed to try this out. When I visualized the half-way point and knew where my steps would take me, it was much easier to keep going. In contrast, when I didn’t have a specific goal or course it seemed like I could be going anywhere for no particular reason. I could write so many cheesy, cliché', motivational, life-skill speeches using running as a metaphor. "The longest journey begins with a single step," "Never begin a course until you can imagine the finish line," "Toughness isn't about how far you go, but how many times your hips jiggle in the ambivalent breeze." I made up that last one. The run went really well, and I burned a LOT of calories--by the end my hair was soaked like a cafeteria mop, and smelled like one too. Of course I encountered the snobbish marathon types; two in particular who jumped off the sidewalk and onto the street as if there was not enough room for their pencil-figures and my hippo-hips on the same path, pooh-pooh on you! Oh and I saw these eerie little stone garden statues. They looked like children who stared into the eyes of medusa to be trapped in their hard cages for eternity. At least have happy-looking children in your garden! One little girl was actually pouting against a brick wall with tears chiseled on her face. Sad! Creepy! I prefer the jovial gnomes with bright colored, pointy slippers. As I reached the finish line there was a large cumulus cloud that looked like a fat cheerleader in an excited stance with her pom-pom raised high in praise of my success. I looked away and chuckled and when I reached my front porch the cloud morphed into a big thumbs up, I know you don't believe me; I should have taken a picture. It was a great surprise, like someone looking out for me; knowing that I needed just a little more "At' a girl" for finishing the run. It feels nice to receive good vibes from above, and I hope they keep coming my way.